Yes, its a Sunday afternoon in the TAC (Thirty and crazy) household.. and as usual the house itself looks like a bomb has gone off, one kid is out running wild in the neighborhood, another kid is with father at the shops and I have actually got a free half hour (Bliss) to try and get some plan together about how my life is going to change completely.
I best start from the beginning…. as my name suggests I am in my 30’s and at a point in my life when I wake up and think to myself “what the hell am I doing?” I’m not going to lie, I often say this…but recently it feels more real and i’m REALLY thinking, SHIT where is life taking me?, what am I doing?, where do i want to go?….. etc
I must paint the picture for you guys, so you don’t think that I am some whiny middle aged woman who likes to focus on the bad things. I have 2 children both of school age, a husband and a relatively OK house in a so called “suburban” area in Kent. I work part time as a college lecturer after being out of education for several years. In theory I have it all and life should be sweet… rosy even!! well guess what guys… It’s not.
I can’t help but constantly judge, compare and hate myself each day, that it’s taken me to this point… a point where i’m driven to share my story and use it as a tool to turn my life around. What better way is there than publicly putting yourself out there to be further judged and criticized. Well i’m hoping that this drastic measures will enforce me to take action and to practice what I preach.
I am not sure what the grand plan is at this stage, all I know is that i am going to compile everything I know in relation to self help and positivist techniques to try and inspire change… using them to guide me to where I feel happy, content to stop the forever bitch fest I contend with in my head each day.
This self help guide aims to cut all the bullshit from your life to help you truly appreciate yourself, your life and if your lucky the people around you.
Whilst I don’t pretend to be a guru or lie to you by saying I have all my shitty ducks in a row.. what I do have is passion, the ability to see through the crap and the determination not to let all the so called ‘together’ people judge me or put me down any longer. It has taken over 30 years to get myself to this point… the point of reinventing myself and being strong enough to go against the grain!
My story starts with me quitting my job… yes I have just sent my resignation letter (This plan best work)
You may or may not be wondering how I have come to this point at my mere 31 years of age.. and my response to you would be an honest, “I don’t know” right now I’m really not sure what I’m doing and if I have done the right thing… but time will tell and if I am about to preach to you, I should honestly take a leaf from my own book and do what it is I’m preaching about.
I am not about to promise you by reading this blog or following my story, that you will all of a sudden see a mountain of wealth or your life change completely for the better.. and quite frankly I have no idea if this is going to work for me. All I am saying to you is that I am taking the risk and investing in myself and my happiness and if there is some great law of attraction at play, things should work out for the best!
I am at a point where I am no longer content at doing the same mundane things each day, I’ve had enough of comparing myself to everything and everyone, criticizing what I am doing, why I am doing it and how I can do it better. I am writing my story and taking each step (practicing what I preach) as I write with you… so this blog will be a true reflective self help account which will either really work, or show you what NOT to do, so either way it should be a great read!