Yes, its a Sunday afternoon in the TAC (Thirty and crazy) household.. and as usual the house itself looks like a bomb has gone off, one kid is out running wild in the neighborhood, another kid is with father at the shops and I have actually got a free half hour (Bliss) to try and get some plan together about how my life is going to change completely.
I best start from the beginning…. as my name suggests I am in my 30’s and at a point in my life when I wake up and think to myself “what the hell am I doing?” I’m not going to lie, I often say this…but recently it feels more real and i’m REALLY thinking, SHIT where is life taking me?, what am I doing?, where do i want to go?….. etc
I must paint the picture for you guys, so you don’t think that I am some whiny middle aged woman who likes to focus on the bad things. I have 2 children both of school age, a husband and a relatively OK house in a so called “suburban” area in Kent. I work part time as a college lecturer after being out of education for several years. In theory I have it all and life should be sweet… rosy even!! well guess what guys… It’s not.
I can’t help but constantly judge, compare and hate myself each day, that it’s taken me to this point… a point where i’m driven to share my story and use it as a tool to turn my life around. What better way is there than publicly putting yourself out there to be further judged and criticized. Well i’m hoping that this drastic measures will enforce me to take action and to practice what I preach.
I am not sure what the grand plan is at this stage, all I know is that i am going to compile everything I know in relation to self help and positivist techniques to try and inspire change… using them to guide me to where I feel happy, content to stop the forever bitch fest I contend with in my head each day.